Zombieland

 

What Jack Says...

It's pretty rare when you can list a movies genre as Comedy, Sci-Fi, and Horror. There has to be something special about a movie that can now shouldn't there?

I have really put off watching Zombieland for a long time because I really don't like zombie movies. I KNOW, I KNOW I should be stabbed and left for dead for that statement, but I don't. I generally find zombie movies to be one note and unenlightening. I was not a huge fan of Sean of the Dead either. Now you've just gone and stopped reading now haven't you? On the plus side I was pleasantly surprised when I ended up enjoying this movie. 

As a general rule I don't like Woody Harrelson, but he was excellent in this role. He might be one of those actors like Matt Damon where the older they get, the more interesting they are as actors. The character that really sold me was Emma Stone's character. I love me some Emma Stone and she can do no wrong with me. She has really blossomed into a beautiful woman and an excellent actress. I won't say much about Jesse Eisenberg because he always plays himself. Sorry Jesse, but you should have just stuck to Adventureland because you were phenomenal in that. 

The zombies in this movie were actually cool and the ways that they killed them were educational. I found this movie to be like a "How to kill zombies" flick and that might come in handy in the zombie apocalypse. You know it's coming. Don't lie to yourself. My zombie killing weapon will be a human arm. Yep, a human arm. Just swing that arm like a bat to take off some zombie heads. Don't go stealing my idea now.

Overall, I was thoroughly impressed and I'm not as turned off by zombie films anymore. This movie was funny, exciting and Bill Murray was awesome. I still don't want to read anymore zombie scripts though. A note to new screenwriters: Zombies can't speak in full sentences, run fast, or think. Those are called vampires. Make a mental note of that. 

 

I give this one a solid 8. Highly Enjoyable.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

 

What Jack Says...

Yes, I do realize that this movie came out 20 years ago, but I had to watch it for class. I remember the first time I watched this movie I was about 9 years old and it blew my mind wide open. I had never seen an action movie like this and I doubt anyone had at this point. James Cameron revolutionized this type of technology and changed Sci-Fi action movies forever. Kudos to you James Cameron.

Now, watching this movie 20 years later it is starting to show it's age a bit. The liquid metal T-1000 is still pretty bad ass, but there are some effects that just didn't stand the test of time. The worst part is the guy they got to be Arnold's body double. Man oh man he looks nothing like Arnold. The worst parts are where he is on the motorcycle. I think that guy is about fifteen feet shorter and thirty pounds lighter. Not a good fit at all. 

Linda Hamilton was totally ripped in this movie, but man she looked like a dude. There was a point in Beauty and the Beast (the TV show) that she looked pretty, but in this she was pretty butch. I guess we can't blame James for ditching her for that talentless fraud from Titanic. 

If you are reading this James Cameron please please please re master this movie and put it on Blue-Ray. I know it is already out in that format, but since it wasn't made for it, it won't be the same. Stop messing around with the monstrosity that is Avatar and just go back to your roots. We'll still buy your shit. I promise. 

 

Push

What Jack Says...

Ugh, If it weren't for Dakotah Fanning I wouldn't have watched this movie at all. The concept was there, but it was never fully realized. The opening sequence was pretty cool and the set up the whole movie in the credits. As I was watching it I was thinking "this is an interesting way to set up the characters" and then I realized this just gave the director and writer more time to jack off in the middle of the movie. They completely lost the audience about an hour and ten minutes in because they were too busy jacking off. Boo.

There is this one actress in this movie named Camilla Belle and I totally hate her. She is the new Rachel Weisz. Camilla Belle must take the projects that Selma Blair turns down. They are bastically the same person except Selma can actually act. Give it up Camilla, you suck.

Another problem I have is that ever one seems to be all balls crazy about this Christ Evans guy and I just don't get it. Yeah, sure he has a nice bod, but he has no ass at all and chicken legs. Let's hope they CGI him some legs in Captain America.

Boo I give this one a 4

The Box

What Jack Says...

This is the story of a husband and wife that receive a box with a button on top at their doorstep. A man with half a face comes to them with a proposition to press the button. If they do they will recieve 1 million dollars, but someone they do not know will die and there will be consequences.

Is Donnie Darko a good movie? That is debatable. Is The Box a good movie? Probably not. They were both written by Richard Kelly but this time he took his hand at Directing. That might have been his downfall.

Much like Donnie Darko the first hour was solid. It was interesting, they introduced some complex characters, and it was just overall intriguing. Then, like Donnie Darko about an hour in it just got weird. Like super out of this world weird. It basically leaves the audience thinking that they are watching a totally different movie then the one they walked into. If I was sitting in the theatre I might have checked my ticket stub to remind me of what I paid for. I'm sensing a pattern with this writer.

There were some good twists and turn and I genuinely like Cameron Diaz and James Marsden. They played very believable characters in a very unbelievable script. Unfortunately, in the end it just got  too weird and I completely shut down.

I give this a 6. Sad, it could have been so good.

Terminator Salvation

What Jack says......

So , I have seen Terminator Salvation before, but lately HBO has been playing it like gay clubs give out blow jobs. It is seriously on all the time.

I saw this movie in the theatre twice and that was not necessarily because I wanted to. I saw it the first time at the real theater with all the surround sound greatness and then at the drive in. I would not suggest it at the drive in over all the chatter of small children, and loud amps and headlights shining through the screen. It sort of killed the effect. Plus the sound is horrible even if you are playing it through your car stereo.I also watched it following The Hangover, so it paled in comparison.

Let's get down to the gritty details and say that the best part about this movie is the fact that Sam Worthington takes his shirt off. He should be naked all the time. Although whoever told him that he could do an American accent should be shot. It shines through in all his roles and he just needs to quit it. Foreign accents are hot. That is a fact.

This movie would have been totally amazing if Christian Bale had taken his shirt off in the same scene as Sam Worthington. My head would have exploded all over the windshield. They would make a super pretty man couple.

In the end this movie is highly entertaining if you just want a good old action flick with a little bit of story arking.

I give this one a 7