The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

What Jack Says....

I saw this movie a little while back and I was not too impressed. I heard from a group of people that this movie was going to open my mind up and just simply fuck my brain. Perhaps that is why I was not impressed because it did neither of those things.

I guess this movie has a little bit of everything. It has mystery, Nazi's, emotionally broken characters, murders, and suspense. With that being said does all of that really make a good movie?

This movie has a very offensive rape scene that if I had known it was going to be there I probably never would not have seen it. It is as graphic as I have ever scene and I am emotionally wounded from it. I heard that they are adapting this into an American Version in which they are using the same actress, Noomi Rapace. The first thing that movie is going to be missing is this rape scene. There is no way America is going to let that in. I would have been better with it if I had felt it was absolutely necessary, but I didn't. I guess it makes sense if you were to use the original movie title from Sweden, Men Who Hate Women.

In any event the twist wasn't really all that hard to figure out and the end of this movie ran about 15 minutes too long. They closed it all up in a tiny little neat package and I would have been better off leaving a few things to my imagination. The worst part is they have not made not only one sequel to this but two. Really? What else do I need to know. I have no desire to keep this series going and if I do partake on the rest it will be because my DVR box blew up and I have seen everything on NetFlix. I don't see that happening. You?

I give this one a 6.

The Lovely Bones

What Jack Says.....

Like most other women I read the book prior to seeing the movie. This is the story of a girl who is raped and murdered by her neighbor and her family coping with her death as she watches them from her heaven.

I really did enjoy the book, but I was not so thrilled with the movie. The book punches you in the face in the first 10 pages and the movie lacked that. They seemed to have taken all the interesting character qualities out for the movie. The book was less about Susie Salmon being murdered and it was more about her family coping and moving on without her. That was so not the way the movie went down at all.

In the trailers they portrayed this movie as a suspenseful psychological thriller and the book isn't that way one bit. Susie spends the first half of the movie trying in cope with her death and trying to find a way to contact her living family. In the book she is pretty much fine with her death from the get go and she is more concerned that her family won't make it without her so she watches them.

Stanley Tucci was terrifying in every way so good job to that because he needed to be. Right when I was starting to see him as a good guy he goes and does this. I was really upset at the fact that they took the rape scene out of the movie. They don't even mention it in the movie at all and they play it off as if she is just simply murdered. I feel that this was an imperative piece of the puzzle and the story lacked because of it. I am not a fan of rape, but in this instance it was absolutely necessary to the story line.

I know that it is always tough when you adapt a book into a film, but sometimes it works. Delores Claiborne, The Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me are all adaptations that worked. I realize that those are all Stephen King novels and most of his novels are eons better then their film adaptations. These just happen to be exceptions to the rule.

I just simply hoped that by putting Peter Jackson at the forefront of another piece of literature that he could give it some justice. I hate to say it Peter, but you failed me. I was so wrapped up in the fact that the movie was missing all novel's fantastic qualities, that I didn't even look at the directing. The corn field parts were probably the best parts, but they still felt like throw away scenes.

On a positive note, this was some of the best production design I have seen in a long time. Naomi Shohan gets the credit for this and I can't say that I am surprised. After doing the production design for such movies as American Beauty, Constantine and I am Legend I was delighted. The production design in American Beauty changed movies forever.

Overall, I wanted more from this movie. I hoped that with it being nearly 2 1/2 hours that they could capture even a morsel of the emotion and grief that the book had.

Overall I give this one a 4. Huge disappointment.

The Grapes of Wrath

What Jack Says....

This was yet another piece of classic cinema I was forced to watch for class. I had already seen the other 2 movies many times over so I was stuck with this one.

This movie follows the Joad family as they try to make to California to prosper during the depression.

I don't think that in any world I would have liked this movie. It was pretty depressing and a little long. Henry Fonda was great and I do see why he had such a lustrous career. I think he should stick to comedies like Yours Mine and Ours because man, that is a swell film.

Overall I give this one a 4.

Year One

What Jack Says....

Did I want this movie to be good? Yes. Was it good? No.

The biggest reason that this movie was so disappointing was that Harold Ramis is a comical genius. I can't even begin to analyze what went wrong with this film. There were some funny moments and perhaps if I were move versed on the bible stories I might have understood it better.

All the good lines went to Michael Cera which is fine with me. Believe me I love me some funny Jack Black, but it was nice to See Michael being funny. His comedy is effortless.

I will never ever watch this movie again. Yes, it was that bad.

I give this one a 2. Ouch!

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

What Jack Says....

Horrible, awfully, terrible, make it stop! Yes, this is possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The first one wasn't really all that great, but they really messed this one up big time. I had such high hopes for the Chipette's. Sad. It was so bad I don't even want to talk about it. I would have shut if off if I could have. Believe me.

Do I really have to give this one a rating? I give is a 1.

Now, if you want to watch a good Alvin and the Chipmunks movie then watch the The Chipmunk Adventure. I loved this movie as a child and it still thrills me. I still want to be Britney.

I give this one a 9!

Jennifer's Body

What Jack Says.....

I can't even describe how excited I am to review this movie! I am as surprised as everyone else that this movie was actually good. I can't believe that every pre-pubescent boy in America wasn't nutting themselves over this movie. I am seriously shocked that this movie didn't get more press.

Why may you ask am I so surprised? Three things happened in this movie to make it amazing:

1. Megan Fox plays a Vampire, Zombie, blood sucking piece of awesomeness! She not only bites them, she rips their stomachs out and drinks their blood as if she were drinking from a stream.

2. Megan Fox traipses around in nearly nothing for more then half the movie. Even when she is wearing clothes they are pretty non-existent.

3. Girl on Girl action with Amanda Seyfried. What more could you ask for?

Really teenage boys of America? You couldn't throw a few extra bucks at this movie in the box office? I am shocked at you.

I really didn't know what I was getting into with this movie and as I recall the trailers didn't represent this as a horror film. This was certainly a campy cult type horror movie and there are not enough of those these days. Yes, it was predictable but the screenwriting more then made up for it. This was the sophomore debut for Diablo Cody's writing and I think she did a great job. If anyone was looking for another Juno script you won't get it. Not in this movie and not ever again. That was just pure genius and that only comes around once. This script was still fitting for the movie and I enjoyed it. 

Here's a little piece of trivia for everyone. The end song for this movie is "Violet" by Hole off of the Live Through This album. There is actually a song on this album called Jennifer's Body, but I figure they opted out of using it because of the lack of popularity.

I will probably get a swift slap in the face from every reviewer on the planet for this, but I give this one a very enthusiastic 9. Yep, a 9. Accept it.

Sunset Boulevard

What Jack Says....

This is another classic that I had to watch for class and I found it interesting. In no world did I love this movie nor did I hate it. I think that maybe if I had not had to watch it for class I might have enjoyed it a tad more.

It is the story of this crazy washed up actress that blackmails a writer to write a movie for her. It is slightly Great Expectations meets anything where Betty Davis is evil.

Will I watch this movie again? No probably not, but it is sort of one of those movies where once you see it once you never need to see it again.

I give this one a solid 4

Some Like It Hot

What Jack Says....

I had to watch Some Like It Hot for a class project and I will say that I didn't hate it. I actually quite enjoyed it. I have never been a huge fan of Marilyn Monroe's movies, but this one was a good one. I don't think that my generation realizes how unbelievably beautiful she really was. With the Megan Fox's and Jennifer Aniston's of the world being what is "in" right now, they just simply don't have a clue.

There is a manor is which she moves that makes her unlike anyone else. Yes, I was watching the movie, but she captivated me. I realize that when she fell she fell hard, but it is nice to know that there was a time where she was beautiful, talented, and on top.

Jack Lemon is hilarious. You find me something that he isn't wonderful in and I will check it out, but as of now there is nothing. This is my first go around with Tony Curtis and I will say he was just so so. I am sure he has done better work.

Overall I give this one a 6

The Karate Kid

What Jack says...

I don't think I really need to go into what this movie is about because everyone on the planet has seen this movie at least a dozen times except for me. I can't believe that is has been over two decades and I had never seen The Karate Kid until last night.

This movie was entertaining and it certainly was a good family film. I don't know how much kids now would like it though. There weren't any loud explosions or retarded american anime characters making stupid faces to keep kids attention. This just goes to show we used to have more of an imagination when we were kids. Yes, I know I sound like my parents.

Why does Elizabeth Shue look old even when she is young? She has this whole Anegela Lansbury thing going on. That chick never looked young even when she was. I'm very perplexed. 

This movie was entertaining and it had a good script. Unfortunately, I did grow up with Side Kicks and I still like that one better. I love you Jonathan Brandis. RIP

 

I give this one a 6.5

The Graduate

What Jack says....

The Graduate stars Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft. It is the tale of a young man (Hoffman) who has just graduated College that is propositioned by an older woman(Bancroft) for sex. Once he is in a full fledged romance with this woman he is forced to go on a date with her daughter and ends up falling for her.

I have been wanting to see this movie for a really long time and I am extremely excited that I now have. I never thought that I would say this but, Dustin Hoffman was sort of sexy at some point in his life. I kind of think of him as a creepy twitchy little hobbit, but he wasn't bad in this movie. He has that sort of awkwardness that might apeal to some women. He is certainly a "Project" sort of a guy. Dustin Hoffman really is a great actor and this film was a great platform for him to start off on.

Anne Bancroft wasn't a bad looking woman either. Of course she was still older in this movie, but she had a pretty good body. The great thing about this movie is the sexual tension is magnificent because it is about what you don't see. It is rare to find a movie that doesn't just flash the nudity from the get go anymore.

In the end I thought that this movie was humorous, sweet,compulsive and just all around fantastic. There is no question in my mind why this movie is a classic.

I give this one a 9

Inglourious Basterds

What Jack says....

This movie stars Christoph Waltz, Melanie Laurent, Brad Pitt and Diane Kruger. It is the fictional tale of the demise of Hitler's Third Reich and the people who take it down.

OK, so I know that I am finally getting around to seeing this and I should have seen it a year ago. Now that so much time has passed, there has been so much hype and I hate to say I am a tad disappointed. I tend to do this where I wait and wait for something and I build it up to be more then it really is.

As most Tarantino movies go it was slow getting started and it drug in the middle. I know that he is some sort of writer/director genius, but sometimes I have trouble seeing it. I will say that Christoph Waltz was phenomenal and he completely deserved his Oscar. He was seriously wow. Brad Pitt had all the good lines and that is fitting for him. I liked how it ended and it left me wishing that is how it all really went down in history.

This was not my most favorite Tarantino movie, but it wasn't my least favorite either. You done good Tarantino and keep up the good work.

I give this one a 7

Only You

What Jack says....

Only You stars Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr. and Bonnie Hunt. It is the story of a woman (Tomei) who is about to get married when she gets a phone call from the man of her dreams. At least she thinks he is and she follows him all the way to Italy. Along the way she meets a charming shoe rep (Downey Jr.) that falls head over heels in love with her.

I have seen this movie more times then I can count, but I never get sick of it. How hot was Robert Downey Jr. in 1994? I mean seriously. I know he was blitzed out if his mind in 1994, but I really don't care because he is so hot. He is still hot! That is a little infuriating that he can only get more sexy as he gets older.

Marisa Tomei is everything you expect her to be in a romantic leading roll. She is sexy and sweet but still a little flaky. She is great and I want her to be in every movie. She is another person that has gotten hotter as she got older. What is up with that?

Bonnie Hunt was still funny when this movie came out. That dates it big time. Bonnie Hunt has not gotten hotter. Sorry, Bonnie.

I give this one an 8.5. I could watch it almost everyday.

Oliver!

What Jack Says....

Olvier! is the story of a little orphan boy who runs away from the orphanage he grew up in and hooks up with a an older man who runs a group of throw away boys. He takes care of them in return for them pick pocketing for him. There is another whole side plot but honestly I checked out.

This movie was a little piece of torture! I was forced to watch it and I think that it should be used as punishment. This movie was about 2 hours too long and oh baby Jesus it was boring.

I really have nothing good to say about this one so I guess I should just stop. I would rather go to the OBGYN instead of watching this again.

I give this one a 1. If I could have shut it off I would have.

The Maltese Falcon

What Jack Says...

The Maltese Falcon stars Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor. It is the story of a detective who's partner is killed following a case that a woman (Astor) hires them to investigate. The plot thickens as Sam Spade (Bogart) finds out that this woman is not what she seems and she wants something he can't find.

This was the first movie I had to watch for my screenwriting class. I won't say that I loved it, but I didn't hate it either. I love the classics and I love black and white movies, but I was not totally feeling this one. It might have been because I had to write a paper on it and I really didn't get time to enjoy it because I was so worried about hitting all my points.

This is the first movie I have seen with Humphrey Bogart and I was not impressed. There are generations of people rolling over in their graves right now having said that. I am sure I will see more movies with him in it and I hope they change my mind, but I really don't see what all the hub bub is about.

I give this one a 4

The Pajama Game

What Jack says.....

The Pajama Game stars Doris Day and John Raitt. It is the story of two people who fall in love that work in a pajama factory. They are on opposite sides of a union strike and that creates a rift.

This was another of my instant Netflix views and this one was less shitty then some I have seen. I really love Doris Day and I figured I would give it a shot. I was not a huge fan of this movie and I am not really sure why. The songs were good enough and there were some good Fosse choregraphed dance numbers, but it sort of fell flat. Doris was way too skinny and her hair was way way bad in this one. It was like a really big Elvis do and only Elvis could pull that off. I think she just looked overworked in this flick. Her leading male wasn't anything really special and I didn't really pick up on their chemistry. Well, I lied then. I guess I do know why I am not a huge fan. 

 

I give this one a 4