Wristcutters: A Love Story

 

What Jack Says...

This was yet another suggestion from Netflix. Wow that was a bad week for movies. This movie was so strange. It should have been right up my alley, but it just wasn't.

Patrick Fugit plays a young man that gets depressed when he and his girlfriend break up and he tries to kill himself by slitting his wrists. Obviously, he doesn't succeed but from then on the only people he runs into are also suicide survivors. He then hears that his ex-girlfriend doesn't know that he lived so he goes on a journey with a friend to find her. Along the way they run into Shannyn Sossamon and she is a total train wreck all in herself. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. Yeah, just weird. 

Tom Waits is a total freak show too. His acting is just as strange as his music. He is such an odd guy. 

 

I give it a 3. Just too weird.

Sol Goode

 

What Jack Says...

Sweet Jesus what was I thinking watching this? I seriously don't know. What I do know is that when Netflix suggests movies I need to walk away. No not walk, bolt!

This is your basic story of the best friend not knowing he loves his best friend until it's almost too late. I like that type of thing as much as the next guy, but this movie just sucked. 

Now, there was one pretty awesome surprise that I had not anticipated. There is a scene where she is talking to a guy at a party that is aspiring to be a model. I'm watching the movie and thinking to myself "that guys looks like Jared Leto. A thinner Jared Leto, but still Jared Leto." I totally IMDB'd that shit and it was him. He was just uncredited and for good reason! The movie was horrible. The best part is that at the end he ends up in bed with another guy. That's hot. 

 

This is getting a 2. Horrible and I want my time back. I think I watched this in two sittings to it makes it that much worse. 

 

Robin Hood

 

What Jack Says...

I'm not going to spend much time on this because honestly it really isn't worth it. This isn't your Kevin Costner Robin Hood and that's why it sucked. No not really, but it was boring. It took forever to get started. Ridley Scott is the worst director when it comes to action sequences. He really needs to take some lessons from Mel Gibson when it comes to that shit, because he has some shaky camera shit you wouldn't imagine. 

Kate Blanchett was pretty amazing and man she is beautiful. She cripples me with her beauty and talent. I still think that Russell Crowe is smokin hot. He exudes everything that a masculine male should. Yum. He does take his shirt off in this movie and it was pretty awesome. It happens only once, but it was well worth the wait. He's really pretty.

Overall, this movie was way too long and it felt like it went nowhere. 

 

I give it a 3.

 

Sucker Punch

 

What Jack Says...

When a young girl is sent to an mental hospital by her abusive step father, she finds herself thrown into a fantasy world where she has to fight for her survival. 

I really didn't know anything about this movie going in. I had seen a few trailers and the fact that it looked like a video game enticed me to see it. Also Zack Snyder directed it and he did such a phenomenal job on Watchmen and 300, so who wouldn't want to see it?

I am going to start by saying these chicks kicks some major ass. They had awesome weapons, excellent outfits and had to perform some crazy stunts. I know that 90% of this movie was done by green screen, but it was really well made. 

When I found out Vanessa Hudgens was going to be in this, I thought that I would give her a chance. I feel now that she isn't dating my boyfriend we might have a chance at having a relationship. She really did kick ass, but of course she turned out to be a little bitch. I really didn't expect anything less.

Abbie Cornish was cast really well and she was super hot. She is the "heavier" of the girls, but in no way does that make her fat. She just isn't eight pounds. She rocked those costumes better than the skinny chicks. Good job Abbie. 

I had to look up Emily Browning because I knew I knew her, but I couldn't place her. I was shocked as shit when I realized she was the little girl from Lemony Snicket's. Baby Doll is my new favorite person and I want to be her. She is bad ass and Emily Browning brought her to life.

I have always loved Jena Malone so when I found out she was going to be in this movie as well, I was overjoyed. There is something innocently sexy about her. I know she isn't a kid anymore, but she still seems so young. She was balls the walls hardcore and it was exciting. 

On a technical note the costumes, makeup, production design and soundtrack were phenomenal. The soundtrack was really interesting because they put a new twist on some classic songs. I know that isn't a new way of doing things, but they did it well. 

I was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed this movie so much. This is a huge statement because there isn't one single hot guy in this movie. Not one! I love all things Sucker Punch and I am eager to see what Zack Snyder does next. 

Oh shit! I almost forgot to mention how hot Carla Gugino was in this movie. She is always awesomely hot, but she was really beautiful in this one. She is going to be 40 this year and she looks fantastic. I hope she rocks her awesome bod for many years to come. 

 

I give it a 9. Pretty perfect. 

 

Romance and Cigarettes

 

What Jack Says...

This was the final Kate Winslet movie that I needed to see and man o' man am I glad that I waited to see this one. This was the most horrible piece of shit I have ever seen. I'm not even joking a little. It was seriously unwatchable. Kate couldn't even save this movie. It was so bad that I didn't even watch the whole thing. Once I thought she wasn't going to be on anymore I fast forwarded to the end. That's bad. I never, ever do that!

OK, so I love me my musicals but this was not a musical. They had these musical outbursts where they would start singing, but they weren't really singing. They were lip syncing over the original song, but I don't think the songs were even sung by the original artists. Wow, just bad. Kate plays an overtly raunchy character and it was extremely uncharacteristic of the rolls she typically chooses. I can see where that might have been enticing though and that is probably why she did it. Also, it has an all star cast including Susan Sarandon, James Gandolfini, Steve Buscemi and Christopher Walken. Who would have thought that it would be so repulsive. John Turturro directed this massive piece of shit and I won't be running out to see anything else he does. Ever!

This will go into the very short list of movies that I wish Kate Winslet hadn't done. I forgive you Kate and I still love you more than words can say. 

 

 I give it a 1. Horrrrrrible!

16 to Life

 

What Jack Says...

When a girl on her 16th birthday finds herself working all day in her local food stand, she finds more drama than she is prepared for. 

I will be honest will you and the only reason I wanted to watch this movie is because Shiloh Fernandez is in it. This was when I was on that kick and I watched nothing but his movies for a week. I will say that this is probably the best of his movies that I have seen, but he doesn't have a huge roll. As a whole the movie was really entertaining. 

I really liked the very independent feel of this movie. When I make my movie, I want it to feel just like this. It was low budget, but not badly made. That is an elegant balance. The casting was really well done and I don't think I would have changed anything about it. The characters were relatable and as was the subject matter. I highly recommend anyone to watch this movie that is looking for a movie that is just fun with a really good script. Shiloh doesn't take his shirt off, but he is still really hot. Well, worth it.

I give it a 7. Really good.