Wristcutters: A Love Story

 

What Jack Says...

This was yet another suggestion from Netflix. Wow that was a bad week for movies. This movie was so strange. It should have been right up my alley, but it just wasn't.

Patrick Fugit plays a young man that gets depressed when he and his girlfriend break up and he tries to kill himself by slitting his wrists. Obviously, he doesn't succeed but from then on the only people he runs into are also suicide survivors. He then hears that his ex-girlfriend doesn't know that he lived so he goes on a journey with a friend to find her. Along the way they run into Shannyn Sossamon and she is a total train wreck all in herself. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. Yeah, just weird. 

Tom Waits is a total freak show too. His acting is just as strange as his music. He is such an odd guy. 

 

I give it a 3. Just too weird.

Sucker Punch

 

What Jack Says...

When a young girl is sent to an mental hospital by her abusive step father, she finds herself thrown into a fantasy world where she has to fight for her survival. 

I really didn't know anything about this movie going in. I had seen a few trailers and the fact that it looked like a video game enticed me to see it. Also Zack Snyder directed it and he did such a phenomenal job on Watchmen and 300, so who wouldn't want to see it?

I am going to start by saying these chicks kicks some major ass. They had awesome weapons, excellent outfits and had to perform some crazy stunts. I know that 90% of this movie was done by green screen, but it was really well made. 

When I found out Vanessa Hudgens was going to be in this, I thought that I would give her a chance. I feel now that she isn't dating my boyfriend we might have a chance at having a relationship. She really did kick ass, but of course she turned out to be a little bitch. I really didn't expect anything less.

Abbie Cornish was cast really well and she was super hot. She is the "heavier" of the girls, but in no way does that make her fat. She just isn't eight pounds. She rocked those costumes better than the skinny chicks. Good job Abbie. 

I had to look up Emily Browning because I knew I knew her, but I couldn't place her. I was shocked as shit when I realized she was the little girl from Lemony Snicket's. Baby Doll is my new favorite person and I want to be her. She is bad ass and Emily Browning brought her to life.

I have always loved Jena Malone so when I found out she was going to be in this movie as well, I was overjoyed. There is something innocently sexy about her. I know she isn't a kid anymore, but she still seems so young. She was balls the walls hardcore and it was exciting. 

On a technical note the costumes, makeup, production design and soundtrack were phenomenal. The soundtrack was really interesting because they put a new twist on some classic songs. I know that isn't a new way of doing things, but they did it well. 

I was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed this movie so much. This is a huge statement because there isn't one single hot guy in this movie. Not one! I love all things Sucker Punch and I am eager to see what Zack Snyder does next. 

Oh shit! I almost forgot to mention how hot Carla Gugino was in this movie. She is always awesomely hot, but she was really beautiful in this one. She is going to be 40 this year and she looks fantastic. I hope she rocks her awesome bod for many years to come. 

 

I give it a 9. Pretty perfect. 

 

Timer

 

What Jack Says...

This movie was recommended to me by Netflix and it is yet another movie that I can't believe I didn't think of writing. 

In this movie there is company that can implant you with a timer that will lets you know when you will meed your soul mate. The protagonist, Oona, has her timer but it just shows zeros. That is because her soul mate hasn't gotten a timer yet. She is nearly 30 and feels like time is running out and decides to take a chance on a guy that she knows isn't the one for her. 

Pretty interesting story right? I think so. This really was a charming and just all around good movie. The casting was pretty perfect and the script is actually a little genius. The woman that they cast as Oona, Emma Caulfield, is so good I want to find out what else she is in because I am a big fan. The guy they cast to play her love interest, John Patrick Amedori, is pretty great too as well as Michelle Borth that plays the sister. Another very nice surprise is Desmond Harrington that plays Quinn on Dexter pops up in this movie and he's great. 

I really can't say enough good things about this movie, but of course there has to be at least one con. I really hated the way this movie ended. I am not a big fan of closure, but on this one I had a way I wanted it to end and it didn't end that way at all. I'm OK with it now, but I was pretty pissed when the credits started to roll. Don't let that detour you because this movie is well worth it. This is independent film making done right. 

 

I give it an 8.5. 

 

The Fall

 

What Jack Says...

This is the tale of a wounded Stuntman that befriends a small girl staying in the same hospital and cons her into helping him get medicine for his pain. In return she has him tell her elaborate stories. The more drugs she provides, the more fantastical the stories get. 

I can't believe I had never heard of this movie until a few weeks ago. When I watched the trailer for this movie I realized it was right up my alley. This movie was directed by Tarsem Singh and he is most notable for directing The Cell. Just watching the trailer I knew that the same person did both movies. Both movies are just so completely visually stunning that it will blow your mind. Everything from the costumes, to the production design and even the score blew my mind. I will say though, I was a little put off by the end of this movie. I feel like I still want more and I was a little let down. I had to sleep on it, but once I did I realized that this was a truly great film.

I have to mention how hot Lee Pace is in this movie. That is another reason I am so surprised that I didn't know this movie existed because I love all things Lee Pace. In the fantasy portions he has all this sexy eyeliner and really great shoulders. He doesn't take his shirt off, but I am willing to look past that because the rest of the movie was so awesome.

I will certainly watch this movie again. Thank you William for introducing this movie to me. I know I would have found it soon or later, but I'm glad it was sooner.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and stick with a solid 9.

 

Red Riding Hood

 

What Jack Says...

I'm going to just get this out of the way right from the start. There is no sex in this movie. Nope none at all. That was a HUGE disappointment because the trailer really made it out to be a big hot steamy mess. No one even takes their shirt off. Seriously! Painful. Wait! There is this one fantasy section at the end, but I think you just see some shoulders. That's not enough for me.

All that aside I actually sort of kinda enjoyed this movie. The directing was terrible. Women directors have no place in the business. Sorry, but that's how I feel. This movie was however extremely aesthetically stunning and the costumes were pretty impressive as well. This is a production designers dream project. There was so much fantasy that you could have taken it anywhere so that was pretty exciting.

Now, for what I really want to talk about. How hot is Shiloh Fernandez? I mean seriously. Why isn't he in everything? I want to cast him now now now in the script I'm writing and it's not even finished yet. I sort of hope he doesn't become too big of a star so that I can have a chance at casting him. He is a little short and a little skinny, but there is something about him that makes him insanely hot. He is sort of like a younger Joaquin Phoenix without the lip issues. 

Amanda Seyfried was pretty hot too and she is just sexy looking girl. Now, since she is so sexy and she does get naked in movies, I pretty much assume now that she will get naked all the time. I was very saddened when that didn't happen in this movie. They tease at it, but no actual nudity. Stupid PG-13 rating. 

In the end I would watch this movie again. I will definitely want to see Shiloh Fernandez in all his hotness again and maybe they will have unedited version for the video release. Here's hoping.  

 

I'm gonna take a chance here and give it a 7. I may have to retract that rating once the DVD comes out if they don't give me more of what I want to see. I have a good feeling though. 

 

The Curious Case of Benjamine Button

 

What Jack Says...

If you don't know what this movie is about then you have been living under a rock and I don't feel I need to elaborate on the plot.

Let's just get down to it then. I feared the worst in this movie when Hari saw it in the theater and had trouble staying awake. Needless to say it clearly hasn't been on the top of my to do list. It was finally streamable, thank you Netflix, and I was able to check it out.

Ok, Brad Pitt is old in this movie. I guess you all know that, but he is really old. Like crotchety nasty old man saggy balls crotchety in this movie. The worst part is that he is old almost the whole movie. Yes, the whole movie. I'm not exaggerating even a little bit. He doesn't get hot until 30 minute before this monstrosity is over. I will say that when he gets hot he is pretty hot. 

Now onto Ms. Blanchett. OH, sweet Jesus she is beautiful in this movie. Even when she is her actual age she is beautiful. They did all these creepy movie tricks to make all the actors look older and younger at different points and it has to be against all that is holey. It's the devils work I tell you. No seriously, she was wonderful and I would watch her do just about anything. Wait there is one thing I will never watch her do again and that is play Bob Dylan. Wow that movie was bad.

In the end, this movie was just so so. Certainly one of my least favorite David Fincher films, but I guess it was watchable. 

 

I give this one 6. Not wonderful, but not horrible either. Oh, Yeah and I cried hard. Yep hard.

 

Tangled

What Jack Says...

Disney has failed me time and time again, but I am happy to say that Disney surprised me this time. I didn't really have any expectation of this movie going in, but I don't think it would have mattered either way. I loved this movie. Yes, you heard me right, I loved it. I haven't loved a Disney movie this much since Nemo and this is the best Princess movie since Beauty and the Beast.

Mandy Moore is amazing and find me something you don't absolutely love her in. The casting for this movie was spot on all the way around. The songs were so good and these are Little Mermaid caliber songs so, that is says a lot. The animation was out of this world and the story was not just your same old Repunzel story. I suggest not only families but everyone see this movie. It will brighten your day and your spirits.

I give this one a 10. Loved it hard.

Eclipse

What Jack Says...

Man there were some good wigs in this movie. That's pretty sad that that is the best thing I have to say right out of the gate. Of course Jacob has a fantastic bod, but that would have been so predictable. The wigs really were great.

So, this is the best of the Twilight movies though that isn't saying much. I honestly didn't dislike this movie, but I didn't think it was anything wonderful. There were a few key elements that stayed true to the book and the director was able to capture it's essence. The director is David Slade and he directed Hard Candy. He is a master at the art of tension and anticipation in a scene where there is nothing but conversation and emotion. He doesn't need a score to make you feel something.

There was one scene in particular that if they would have screwed it up I would have slowly died. It would have been like people saying they don't believe in fairies. The scene I speak of is the one in the tent with Jacob, Bella, and Edward. This is such a pivotal part of the story because it is where Edward finally admits that Jacob is better for Bella, but ultimately it is Bella's decision to make. Up until this point they pretty much just scowl at each other and push one another around, but in this scene they actually have a conversation and it's hot.

Bryce Dallas Howard stepped in to take over the roll of Victoria for this installment. Wow, what a stupid bitch the other broad is for turning down the third movie. I won't even look up her name because it won't matter. She is a nobody and she will stay that way because she is stupid. Bryce Dallas Howard is one hot ginger and that is why she is so awesome.

Blah Blah Blah Jacob was hot, Edward was brooding and Bella was annoying. Am I looking forward to the fourth movie? Not really, but of course I will watch it.

P.S. Kristen Stewart is still my girlfriend. She can pretty much do what she wants because I will follow her anywhere. I'm like that stalker kid that knows where all you classes are and sit outside your locker. Nice.

I give this one a 7

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

What Jack Says...

When I saw the trailer for this movie, I didn't know what to think. Was it going to be funny, was it a video game, was it animated? Who knew. The answer is it was all of that and then more though in this instance it didn't work in the movies favor.

I really wanted to love this movie. I wanted to make it dinner, take it to bed and love it. I was so very disappointed that I didn't want to do any of that. The movie is so schizophrenic it is hard to keep notice on what is going on around you. This wasn't a good schizophrenic like Eternal Sunshine or the first half hour of Moulin Rouge either. Another problem I had was I hated the character Ramona Flowers right off the bat. The minute she hit the screen I was like "Nope get her off. I want to stab her." I'm big on strong female leading rolls and the actresses that play them. She was not one of these people. Beginning to end I wanted her to die.

Another huge issue I had was that they tried to make Michael Cera a bad ass. Really? Michael Cera. He might be cute, funny, witty and awkward, but never never a bad ass. It only worked in Youth In Revolt because you got to see both sides of his personality.

Now for what I did like! Kieran Culkin is my boyfriend. I loved him hard and I always do. Those Culkin boys can do no wrong with  me. They should be in everything. Especially Kieran. All the good lines and screen time went to Kieran and he didn't have much of that.

Boo! This movie was not what it was cracked up to be.

I give this one a 6. I forgot that Jason Schwartzman was awesome. I had to throw an extra point his way for that.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:Part1

What Jack Says...

Awe-sommmmmmmeeeeee! I think that is all that really needs to be said. Everyone told me that this was the best Harry Potter movie and I was like "pashaw whatever!" (thank you Clueless. Without you that line may not have been possible)

I feared the worst going in with some very high expectations for the seventh installment in the series. Thank baby Jesus I was not let down. This movie really did have it all and I think even if you aren't a Harry Potter person you could still enjoy it. I honestly didn't think that anything could beat the Prisoner of Azkaban, but I was wrong. I wouldn't say that it was totally beaten, just slightly passed. I mean seriously? Has there really been a bad Harry Potter movie?

In the end I will be sad to see it go, but man the ride was good while it lasted. I can't wait to see the final installment.

I give this one a 9.5. Nearly perfect!

9

What Jack Says...

I originally wanted to see this movie really badly when it was in the theater, but I never got around to it. By the time it was on cable Hari had told me it was pretty terrible and to not rush out to see it. I finally got around to watching it and I really enjoyed it.

I thought it was interesting, creative, and scary as hell for little kids. I don't really think they marketed it towards little kids, but I would have paid money to see screaming children running out of the theater. Stupid parents.

I would watch this one again and I bet I would get something different out of it each time. It was just that creative. Oh, and Elijah Wood is hot even as a bean bag puppet thing.

I give this one an 8

The Time Traveler's Wife

What Jack Says...

The Time Traveler's Wife stars Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. It is the story of a man who travels through time to meet his wife at various stages of their lives.

This trailer totally lied! I just had to start with that. They totally portrayed this movie as some sort of hard core romance and it was not that way at all. Yes, they meet. Yes, they fall in love. Is it romantic? I'm not so convinced. It felt like they wanted each other to be someone different then the person they were with. She always wanted him at a different age then he was and vice verse. It was very strange.

It has been a while since I watched this and I still don't know if I liked it or not. I felt that I needed to sleep on it though I have slept many nights. I think this movie had the potential to be really great, but something was missing. I know you can't bitch about something unless you know how to make it better and since I don't I will just stop.

Eric Bana was naked a lot! Huge perk. The DP on this film was Florian Ballhaus so the cinematography was pretty fantastic. Great lighting, the scenes all looked great and it was just an all around well made movie. I still feel like I missed something though.

I give this a 6. A middle of the road grade for a middle of the road movie.

Ghost Busters

What Jack Says...

I was a mere 2 years old when Ghost Busters first hit the screen so it might not look so bad that I just recently saw it for the first time over Halloween weekend.

Don't get me wrong, I have been wanting to see it for a very long time and of course I watched bits and pieces on cable. Though as we all know you can't get the real feel for a movie with all of those commercials and editing involved. As I expected I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It had humor where necessary, suspense where needed and for the time the effects were fantastic. I grew up watching the cartoon so I knew the basics before hand.

Overall I give this one a 7.

Xanadu

Xanadu stars Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly. I know I know, this movie is from 1980, but it is the first time I have seen it. I also know how much shit this movie has gotten over the past decades and that I am supposed to hate it. I am pleased to say that I do not. Yes, it was cheesy and yes it really made no sense, but I think there is a little something for everyone in this flick.

Between the roller skating, the crazy skirts that are all slit up the sides, and the musical numbers, it makes this movie a ton of fun. Come on who doesn't love Olivia Newton-John. I mean seriously.

This movie was also choreographed by the Kenny Ortega. Anyone who can bring us such greatness as High School Musical had to start somewhere. Loved it!

I give this one a 7