Whip It

What Jack Says...

Whip It is the story of a girl (Ellen Page) that is sort of awkward and she finds her niche in roller derby. It also stars Marcia Gay Harden, Kristen Wiig, and Juliette Lewis.

Let's just start with what the hell happened to Marcia Gay Harden? She fell off the map hard. She didn't just fall, she jumped off the map. She was everywhere for a few minutes and then "splat" nothing. She is such a fantastic actress and she is still completely beautiful. Maybe she will read this and let me know what happened to her career.

Next, Drew Barrymore is a GD genius. She really is. She has one of the most successful production companies in the world and she just makes smart business decisions. Good for her. No seriously. She had a rough patch there for a good decade and then she pulled herself out of Courtney Love's vagina long enough to become a successful business woman. I would like to send her a big gulp with a note attached that says "Thanks for not sucking."

Ok, now onto the movie. The movie was great. That is it. Good script, good actors, and just an all around good choice. You don't see too many of those anymore.

Overall I give this on an 8.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:Part1

What Jack Says...

Awe-sommmmmmmeeeeee! I think that is all that really needs to be said. Everyone told me that this was the best Harry Potter movie and I was like "pashaw whatever!" (thank you Clueless. Without you that line may not have been possible)

I feared the worst going in with some very high expectations for the seventh installment in the series. Thank baby Jesus I was not let down. This movie really did have it all and I think even if you aren't a Harry Potter person you could still enjoy it. I honestly didn't think that anything could beat the Prisoner of Azkaban, but I was wrong. I wouldn't say that it was totally beaten, just slightly passed. I mean seriously? Has there really been a bad Harry Potter movie?

In the end I will be sad to see it go, but man the ride was good while it lasted. I can't wait to see the final installment.

I give this one a 9.5. Nearly perfect!

Burlesque

What Jack Says...

Need I say more than "Cher and Christina." I don't think so. In no world could this have not worked out. The total and complete awesomeness of Cher paired with the beauty and talent of Christina Aguilera could blow a hole in the ozone layer. They were fantastic.

Was Christina's acting good? Absolutely not. Did we expect it to be? Absolutely not. That is one of the reasons this movie worked. It's really not all that creative and it was super predictable, but that is what I went in for. I paid for a ticket and sat and watched a movie that I knew exactly was going to happen. How many times can you say you've done that? Many I am sure. The songs were phenomenal and the dancing was out of this world. Loved the songs, loved the costumes, loved the makeup. Do you really need anything more from a musical. Not really. This was the best dance type musical I had seen since Chicago. Burlesque trampled over NINE, kicked it in the balls and rubbed it's face in the dirt. Awesome.

I give this a very enthusiastic 8

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

What Jack Says...

This was another one that Hari told me wasn't that great that I ended up liking. I don't know Hari, I might not take your word for kids movies anymore.

I have seen some really shitty kids movies in the past few years (Aliens In the Attic, The Tale of Despereaux, Monster's Vs. Aliens) and this one wasn't bad. I thought it was funny and Anna Faris is hysterical all the time. She has such a cute voice and I totally think she needs to do more voice acting. The rest of the cast did really well and the characters were smart. People tend to dumb down kids movies thinking that kids are stupid. What Hollywood doesn't realize is that kids don't get dumb until about twelve. You have eleven whole years to try to make them smarter with movies. Think about it Hollywood. 

I give it a 7. I would watch it again.  

9

What Jack Says...

I originally wanted to see this movie really badly when it was in the theater, but I never got around to it. By the time it was on cable Hari had told me it was pretty terrible and to not rush out to see it. I finally got around to watching it and I really enjoyed it.

I thought it was interesting, creative, and scary as hell for little kids. I don't really think they marketed it towards little kids, but I would have paid money to see screaming children running out of the theater. Stupid parents.

I would watch this one again and I bet I would get something different out of it each time. It was just that creative. Oh, and Elijah Wood is hot even as a bean bag puppet thing.

I give this one an 8

Apocalypse Now

What Jack Says...

This was another film I had to watch for screen writing class. I had seen the Redux version in the early 2000's when it was released in the theaters, but it has been quite a lone time. Honestly, all I remembered was war, going crazy, more war and them killing some sort of animal with machete's.

I can say that now that I am older and I have seen more movies that I can appreciate this one that much more. I never really realized what a fantastic actor Robert Duval was until that one scene where bullets are flying and he is completely calm. This scene was filmed almost entirely in one shot and that can only be done with fantastic actors. I have never really seen much with Martin Sheen in it so I never really thought of him one way or the other. After watching this film I have an entirely new respect for the man. He is more then just the father to Emilo Estevez and and Charlie Sheen. I see where they got their good looks too because he was pretty hot. Yes, crazy can look hot.

I completely see why this movie is a classic and a film industry staple. I would like to go back now and watch the Redux version again, but maybe I will give it some time. This movie is pretty long.

I give this one a solid 8.

The Last Airbender

What Jack Says...

Dear M. Night Shyamalan,

M. Night, M. Night, M. Night. Tsk Tsk. You know when they say "You'll never work in Hollywood again?" Well, for you it's true.

Do you remember the beginning of your career with such great projects as Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense. I will give an honorable mention to Signs because it didn't suck until the end. Remember how bad everyone thought the Village was? I however thought it was fantastic so I stood by you. Then, there was Lady in the Water. Those who saw it thought it to be comical and no one really took it seriously. I thought that the closing sequence was one of the best I had ever seen in any film so still at that point I had faith that it could only get better. Next, there was the abysmal Happening and oh was it over for you M. Night. I would have driven miles, days, weeks just to get my hands around your throat. Now the horrific badness of Airbender is so offensive I want to shoot you myself. Wherever you are M. Night you need to hide. Don't pass go. Don't collect $200.00. Just hide. Don't even think about making another one of these movies because it isn't going to happen anyway. No studio in Hollywood will back it so you might as well not even get out of bed in the morning.

In closing. Just die.

                               Jack

The Time Traveler's Wife

What Jack Says...

The Time Traveler's Wife stars Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. It is the story of a man who travels through time to meet his wife at various stages of their lives.

This trailer totally lied! I just had to start with that. They totally portrayed this movie as some sort of hard core romance and it was not that way at all. Yes, they meet. Yes, they fall in love. Is it romantic? I'm not so convinced. It felt like they wanted each other to be someone different then the person they were with. She always wanted him at a different age then he was and vice verse. It was very strange.

It has been a while since I watched this and I still don't know if I liked it or not. I felt that I needed to sleep on it though I have slept many nights. I think this movie had the potential to be really great, but something was missing. I know you can't bitch about something unless you know how to make it better and since I don't I will just stop.

Eric Bana was naked a lot! Huge perk. The DP on this film was Florian Ballhaus so the cinematography was pretty fantastic. Great lighting, the scenes all looked great and it was just an all around well made movie. I still feel like I missed something though.

I give this a 6. A middle of the road grade for a middle of the road movie.

Get Him To The Greek

What Jack Says...

Get Him to the Greek is supposed to be a sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but I think it missed the mark a bit. Sarah Marshal is debatably one of the funniest movies of the 2000's and it is pretty hard to follow that up.

I had huge expectations for this movie and I think it might have been my downfall. When they say that this movie is a comedy I think it is very loosely based on a comedy. Like a lot of comedies these days it took an unexpected turn into seriousness and I don't think it was absolutely necessary.

Russell Brand is one funny fucker. You can't deny that shit so don't even try. However, I think that the script worked against him. The director from Sarah Marshall (Nicholas Stoller) decided to take his had at writing this one and it was nowhere near the genius of Sarah Marshall. In Sarah Marshall I think you genuinely cared about the characters, though in this one the characters were unsympathetic and you didn't necessarily care what was going on with anyone. There were a few unnecessary vulgar moments in this one as well that just went too far.

Oh yeah, and Jonah Hill was in this movie though you would never know it. His screen time was limited and when he was there he made no impact at all. I don't blame this on you Jonah at all. I know you are funny, too bad the script wasn't.

Overall, this movie was schizophrenic, slow the rest of the time and a poor representation of what Russell Brand is really capable of. If you want to see some good Russell Brand check out his stand up or Bedtime Stories. He doesn't have to be vulgar to be funny though I enjoy it very much.

I give this one a 4. Pretty big disappointment.

Ghost Busters

What Jack Says...

I was a mere 2 years old when Ghost Busters first hit the screen so it might not look so bad that I just recently saw it for the first time over Halloween weekend.

Don't get me wrong, I have been wanting to see it for a very long time and of course I watched bits and pieces on cable. Though as we all know you can't get the real feel for a movie with all of those commercials and editing involved. As I expected I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It had humor where necessary, suspense where needed and for the time the effects were fantastic. I grew up watching the cartoon so I knew the basics before hand.

Overall I give this one a 7.

The Brothers Bloom

What Jack Says...

The Brothers Bloom is the story of two con artist brothers that try to swindle a wealthy woman out of her millions. It stars Adrien Brody, Rachel Wiesz, and Mark Ruffalo. The cast alone tells you the movie is fantastic.

I can't say enough good things about this movie. I would say that this is the second best movie I have watched all year and I can't believe it has taken me this long to see it. This movie was absolute cinematic genius and I wanted more from start to finish. There aren't many movies that do that anymore.

Rian Johnson directed this film. He was the creative genius behind Brick that blew so many minds open in 2005. I would say that he is an up and coming director with a fresh look at film though I feel his directing style is very old. I like that about him. He has found a way to make old look new again. Chris Nolen and Rian Johnson should have a duel at dawn with dueling pistols in a foggy grassy park. I honestly have no idea who would win that one. I would pay money to see it.

There is one particular scene in this film with Rachel Weisz where she is telling a story as she is doing tricks with a deck of cards. There are no words to describe how much I love this scene. I would put this in my top 5 favorite scenes of all time. You just have to watch it because it is effortless and beautifully executed.

I give this one a very enthusiastic 10. Yes, ladies and gentlemen a 10. You don't get much better then this.

Saw 3D (The Final Chapter)

What Jack Says...

I am a sucker for the Saw Movies and I don't really know why. They are not particularly interesting and I can't really wrap my head around why people enjoy watching other people get tortured. I can't knock it because I have seen nearly every installment.

For this movie the script was particularly horrible. I mean seriously, way bad. It felt like a bad porn without the nudity and without the hot guys and chicks. The lighting was sort of funny and whatever film they used made it feel like a bad high school film class movie in which they are using film equipment from 1974.

Was this movie cool? Yes, of course. It delivered everything that a Saw movie should. Was this movie good? Not really. It was probably one of the worst ones. I would say that 1 and 3 were the best installments so it has been a while since I really liked one. Yet, I still keep watching them? Does anyone really think that this is the final chapter? Really?

Overall I give this one a 5.

Paranormal Activity 2

What Jack Says...

Hari and I went the next day and saw Paranormal Activity 2. Again, It was sort of slow going, but it delivered the goods in the end. This one felt a tad more far fetched, but none the less scary.

I don't want to spoil the movie, but the scene in the kitchen where she is reading a magazine and the part where she gets drug down the stairs were especially memorable. I think they are good with just the two movies and if they do anymore they will jump the shark. Let's hope they take my advice and go out on a good note.

Overall I give this on a solid 7 too. I didn't like either one better then the other.

Paranormal Activity

What Jack Says...

Yes, I realize it is not 2007 anymore and I have just barely gotten around to watching Paranormal Activity. I had a plan though. I knew I wanted to wait until the inevitable second installment came out that way I could watch them back to back, and that is exactly what I did.

Hari and I watched this one together and we both love this sort of movie. I guess there is something about being scared that is appealing to both of us. There was a particularly scary scene in this movie where the sheets seem to pull themselves back and it appears that there is someone getting into bed with Katie and Micah. At that exact moment Hari's cat came whizzing around the corner, skittered across the floor, hit a stand up fan knocking it over, and ran into another room. On a regular day this would not have been so funny, but at this moment we were both laughing hysterically and scared out of our minds.

This movie was slow to start, but it delivered the goods in the end. I'm glad I waited because it made me want to see the next installment right away.

Overall I give this one a solid 7. Highly entertaining.

Bandslam

What Jack Says..

Band Slam is the story of a group of teenagers that want to start a band and win a battle of the bands contest. Of course there is a bunch blah blah boring teenage angst stuff.

I actually had pretty big expectations for this one and I was let down. There wasn't just one thing that happened, but all around it seemed to fall flat. Vanessa Hudgens made me want to gouge my eyes out with a hot poker. I have never been a huge fan of hers and she has yet to give me a performance worth watching.

Alyson Milchalka was totally beautiful, but she struggled to carry the movie alone. In the end the movie was highly predictable and I expected more.

Overall I give this one a 3